Have you wondered the sudden kindness your partner is showing?
Kindness is a noun which means the act of being kind- the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate. This character is the humblest form of act of a human being on this earth. When people understand and share, we always say ” you are so kind”. But wait, there is genuine kindness and kindness with a purpose.
What is Red Flag by the way? it is an idiom which used as a warning of danger.
How to Spot You are Dealing with a Fake Kindness
Let me tell you my story the shortest way. I was once married for 20 years and all those years, I could only count one hand for the number of years we were fine. The rest was full of lying and infidelities which I learned his lies through his behavior. He easily get upset and there is no room for him to understand situations to the point that I cannot ask him because we always ended up in a heavy confrontation. Yes, this is the pattern if he is playing fire with another woman. Perhaps, he learned his lesson of how vigilant I was, he changed his style. He became KIND. He cares for the family more than before, he became generous to his own family, he smiles, jokes with the kids and I can now talk to him, he became a loving and considerate husband.
Why I say His Kindness is a Red Flag
Real Kindness is innate. Big or small, regardless of age and circumstances. a kind person is always there to give love even in the smallest, simplest way.
Even though I ride with his act of kindness, I was still thinking and in doubt and I told myself-this could be a Red Flag.
For two to three years, there was no cheating in our marriage which I only thought (self-denial actually). But my radar was so strong. Until one day, his colleague confessed to me secretly. When I learned he had another affair, I was not surprise anymore even if he is now a kind, loving husband. So it took me two-three years to confirm he had another affair. So the confrontation happened and at that time until we separated, he wore his real character and no more kindness, he was back.
Why am I talking about my past? Well, this particular blog is my way of sharing to you to be mindful enough if the acts of goodness of your partner or even your friend is genuine or just to deceive you. We do not judge people but we have to protect our selves from being hurt so we need to validate first before we believe, if the act of kindness is from the heart and not a show.
Have you experience being faked through kindness by your partner or friends? Please share by writing in the comment. Would love to hear from you.